I sat on the back patio in the late afternoon, watching the grass dry up and die in the heat and the leaves on the tulip poplar turn yellow and brown. The new dogwoods suffered too, not even six months in the ground, their tender, thirsty leaves curling inward upon themselves.
Pepper galloped to the fence where she likes to run back and forth with her friend Hotch, the gorgeous German Shepherd on the other side. With enticing and slightly bossy barks, she invited him to come run with her, but he declined. He lazed on his own back patio, not making eye contact.
I didn’t have the energy to read a book. I picked up my phone and put it down. Nothing interesting was happening there. Or anywhere.
The September blues are when you think of the things you lose. Like children, and parents.
Pepper finally gave up on Hotch and came back to the patio to sit at my feet.
“Why won’t he run with me?” she asked. “I really like it when he runs with me. I really like it when he comes when I call him. Does he not like me any more? He just sat there and wouldn’t even look at me. Is something wrong with me? Have I done something wrong?” She was full-on fretting.
“Oh Peppy,” I reassured her. “It’s so hot. Hotch is a little older than you. He can’t run in this heat.”
“Yes he can!” she asserted. “He always has!”
“But maybe, now, he shouldn’t,” I offered. “He wouldn’t feel good afterwards.”
“He just needs some more encouragement,” she said, and ran back down to the fence. She barked again, cajoling, then wheedling, then desperate. She ran back and forth along the fence, trying to attract him. This time Hotch eyeballed her – and then scratched on his door to be let inside.
Pepper returned to the patio, devastated. “Why won’t he run with me?” she asked quietly.
I petted her gently under her chin and around her neck and on her back while I delivered the news.
“Everything changes, Peppy,” I said. “Hotch is – getting old. You might have a different relationship with him going forward.”
“I don’t want a different relationship,” she whispered.
“We never do, with someone we love. But then, I think, our heart – stretches. And we find new ways to love. But it can take a minute.”
“I won’t change,” Pep asserted defiantly. “And you won’t change.”
“Of course not,” I said, because she already had enough to think about.
* * *
September 15, 2019 at 5:46 am
So good to hear from Pepper
September 15, 2019 at 6:06 pm
I’m glad she started talking to me again! She was quiet for a while. Thx Betsy – xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 7:29 am
I salute Pepper’s ability to maintain her energy level – and gentle wisdom – in any and all climate conditions. 🙂
September 15, 2019 at 6:07 pm
Laughing! Mavis keeps a certain equanimity as well, doesn’t she? Of course you do spoil her… xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 9:14 am
Perhaps my favorite Pepper Post of all time. Thank you, Jennifer & Pepper.
September 15, 2019 at 6:08 pm
Dearest Carrington – Thank you!! Your words mean so much to me. xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 9:42 am
Your comment “ our heart stretches and we find new ways to love” hit home with me. As you age, you have to love more in different ways. Thank you for sharing.
September 15, 2019 at 6:09 pm
I’m always so happy to hear from you at Bacon, Anne! And I’m glad this post resonated with you. Sending warmest wishes. xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 9:58 am
This hit close to the heart for me today. Thank you.
September 15, 2019 at 6:16 pm
I hope it helped lift you up. Sending love. xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 10:57 am
I’ve left Mamie’s bed and room unmade since she left for school. Our puppy Boss is hunkered down on her pillows when he goes missing in the house. I don’t know who’s struggling more? Many thanks for this post.
September 15, 2019 at 6:17 pm
You are both struggling more. I am thinking of you, Ashley. And sending you strength. xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 7:15 pm
You know my heart for September – glad Pepper gets it too. Beautifully transcribed and interpreted by you.
September 16, 2019 at 1:28 pm
Thank you, dear Patricia… xoxo
September 15, 2019 at 8:17 pm
So true, Pep..so true
❤️❤️❤️
September 16, 2019 at 1:28 pm
♥️♥️♥️
September 16, 2019 at 7:19 am
Ahhh Pepper, the beauty of youth – can he come tell my guy Benne why I won’t run him in the golf cart these days. His 5 o’clock stares are killing me. September be gone!!!!
September 16, 2019 at 1:29 pm
It’s hard for Benne to understand!! Pepper knows. Xoxo
September 16, 2019 at 11:20 am
Nice to hear from Pepper again!
September 16, 2019 at 1:31 pm
Thank you, Pam! And – I can’t wait to hear about your newest adventure!! Xoxo
September 16, 2019 at 5:47 pm
That’s a precious story, Jennifer. And the photo of the crunchy and freshly fallen leaf juxiposed so poignantly as I think of my own elderly dogs. All three of them holding on for a few more sunsets. Thank you for your beautiful and always thoughtful blog!
September 16, 2019 at 8:14 pm
Thank you for your incredibly kind comments, ML – and I am thinking of you and your pups. xoxo